4 1/2 Hours to Hardee's

When a weekend rolls around, one should take those days off and use them to their fullest extent. Often times however, we sit around the house and just relax, to prepare for another week ahead of us. This weekend my friends; this weekend would be different.

At some point last year or so, a burger came onto the scene that smashed all other burgers into little pebbles of processed beef. It threw down the fastfood burger gauntlet and said, bring it, sissy burgers. It is called: The Monster Thickburger, and it can be exclusively found at Hardee's, a fine fast food establishment in these United States. My next step was to find one of these Hardee's, go inside, order said burger, and consume ridiculous amounts of unhealthiness. One problem, Hardee's is a restaurant that is really found in the south, and midwest type area.

So this Saturday, I had a great idea to drive 4 1/2 hours to Pennsylvania to the closest Hardee's I could find. Four and a half freaking hours. Not wanting to do this retarded venture alone, I told my friend Aldo about my idea, and he was all over it. There sets up my Saturday.

8 am, we leave Long Island and travel west to Pennsylvania. A little before 1 pm, we got to the street on which Hardee's was located, and were confronted by this gem of a Diner name. I'll just let you keep pronouncing it differently until you find why we took a picture of it. Yikes.

Soon after, we found our vaunted destination: Hardee's.

Running inside, excited and eager to eat pure fat, I ordered my large number 8 combo, the infamous Monster Thickburger with curly fries, and a huge drink. The curly fries by the way were amazing, Aldo (my friend who came with) agreed.

Just so you know, here's the stats on my new beloved sandwich:

Calories: 1410 Fat (g) : 107 grams Sat. Fat (g) : 45 grams Sodium (mg) : 2740 WOW. And that's WITHOUT curly fries and a large soda.

By the way, I informed Faith (who you will see later) that I had driven 4 1/2 hours JUST to have this burger, and then she told other people behind the counter that I had done that and they all looked at me strangely. I'm not sure why. So I asked her if they had merchandise, like a t-shirt or a hat. She so kindly checked for a hat for me, but couldn't find one. I ended up with a keychain, a bracelet, and a pencil FOR FREE. I love these down home country folk, great people. By the way, that bracelet is 3" in diameter, I just measured. That means that the burger I ate is about 7-8" in diameter. Go measure that, it's freaking huge. It's also about 2" thick. Damn tasty though, damn tasty.

That's Faith, the girl I ordered from. She was nice, kind of shy, and had nice lips. Thanks Faith! Yeah, that's me. I think that's the first time I've ever posted a picture of me. I haven't shaved in a while, I hate shaving. After indulging our caloric tooth and me having my first heart attack 7 minutes after eating the burger, we started our long trek home, but stopped a few times on the way. Aldo had never been to a Dairy Queen before, so that was a must stop. Out in the parking lot, parked next to a rickety looking Cadillac hearse from the mid 60's, Aldo noticed a huge piece of thin red metal on the ground. Upon further examination, it was part of the Dairy Queen sign way up in the sky that apparantly had come down during a storm or something. We soon found out that it wouldn't fit in my trunk. Damn sign.

We left the DQ and drove to this miniature village thing in this building, but it was $5 dollars to get in, and we didn't have that much interest in it. We did however peruse the gift shop, coming upon neat little things, like these magnetic train letters.

(That said Nick until I got there) So we found these really tiny glass animals that looked really cute, and they were only $2.39!!! You can't go wrong at that price baby, you just CAN'T! Aldo got the donkey. Then I had another heart attack.

Very cute. Love the donkey. I got the rabbit.

I thought it was really cute looking, and his cheeks both looked like testicles. When it's 2 for 2 like that, you gotta get it.

So with miniature glass animals, Dairy Queen Blizzard's, and huge slabs of beef from Hardee's, we were all set to go home. Word of advice, if you are in a car with someone for 9 hours in one day, conversation will eventually run dry. So we ended up playing the celebrity game for umm, 3 1/2 hours. Aldo won. We ended on Yasmine Bleeth, what a way to end.

Driving to PA to have lunch at Hardee's : $40 in gas

Monster Thickburger: $8 something and only 3 heart . . . wait . . . 4 heart attacks

Rabbit will ball cheeks: $2.39 plus tax

Spending your Saturday doing something interesting: Priceless.

For everything else, there's McDonalds and Burger King.