A Tuesday Lost

Tomorrow is Tuesday, and for me, that's all it will end up being. Another Tuesday. I wish I could just leave it at that, and I wish it really was just another Tuesday, but unfortunately I can't forget the fact that it is also the wonderful Valentine's Day. Yes, the day where everyone and their sweetheart lavish each other with gifts and cute love letters; well, that's how it's supposed to go from what I've heard.

See, Valentine's Day is a day I love, well, if I am with someone. I love thinking up of big things to show how much I care, and planning out surprises, or getting unique gifts suited specifically for that person I'm with. Those who know me, and especially anyone who I've been with who reads this blog (Tracy and Amber I think are the only ones) know this about me, it's what I love to do. Tomorrow is that day where I was able to pull out the stops and really do something big, something she would remember, something that would take her breath away.

Tomorrow will come, and my normal routine will run its course, and tomorrow will end without fanfare or special happenings and will be filed away with all the other normal days that pass by and wave as they fade from memory. It is a tuesday lost.

Am I being dramatic? Sure I am. This Valentine's day holds a special bitterness for me which makes it more frustrating and slightly more painful, so yeah I'm being dramatic. And just because this day will be lost, it doesn't mean that I can't do those wonderful, romantic and elaborate things on other days, I know that. I often do them on other days because you shouldn't need a commercially created holiday to do things like that.

But I was really looking forward to this one. Only a month or so ago, maybe a smidge longer than that, I was looking forward to tomorrow. Heck, I was even starting to think about things I could do and even starting to plan out things in my head, getting excited about how I could pull some things off. And tomorrow, all those ideas and things I had been thinking about, and the energy that was to be put in them; the excitement and anticipation...will be lost. Tomorrow for me, will be lost.

Tomorrow, however, will be the only thing I have lost. Though I may lament over what has happened, and at times it does bug me, I am better off losing a Tuesday instead of my heart. I am better off losing a Tuesday, and gaining the excitement and anticipation of finding someone who actually appreciates me, someone who respects me, someone who loves me. I am better off losing a Tuesday, than squandering my energy, time, and love on someone who wouldn't be able to appreciate it, or reciprocate any of it. And as my Tuesday passes on by, I will wave to it, and let it fade from memory, for this is the Tuesday I am better without.