Lost My Life In Hampton

I shouldn't be writing right now, not in this emotional state. But this emotional state is why I need to write; why I need to share my quandaries and thoughts in this forum; why I started this blog in the first place really.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm watching life behind panes of glass, but it never sees me. It just keeps talking, moving, and living; and I keep watching. And then every so often, life comes outside for a bit, and excitedly, you say hi and get to experience it for those brief moments, only to watch it go back through that door. Then, instead of waiting at the window in curiosity, watching life and wondering about it, you wait at the window in aching anticipation, longing for it to come out again, if only for an instant.

Flashes of life, much like love, can be the most addicting of things. They are exciting, and moments and feelings to grab a hold of and taste and smell and remember. They inspire you and envigorate you. And like the brightest sunshine during the day, they make the rest of your life seem dull; faded. Most people's lives, like mine, aren't filled with excitement every second or minute or hour. Normal, well, "normal" lives just aren't like that. They eventually wear down a path and pace it, day after day after day. But every so often, sometimes when least expected, life grabs us and opens our eyes for an hour or two, or even a day or a week, and for that time, we see and feel wonderful things and are alive! Such excitement isn't often found in monotony. Such excitement isn't often found in 9-5 jobs. We grow numb to even the most dull of duties and eventually forget their life draining tedium. Life being the cruel mistress allows this to happen; allows us to wear our paths down to a comfortable bore. What makes her cruel though is that she doesn't allow this to go on for too long. She will show us flashes of brilliance and beauty and let us feel what it's like to be exhilarated again. And after that, our path among the mundane (thanks R) no longer feels numb. It no longer looks the same. We continue our pace around our path, yearning for that life again, but lazy and scared to chase it.


Sitting here staring
at a cement wall,
Searching for a past
that never did quite come true.
Surrounded by dirty clothes,
and empty plates,
and bottles once filled with escape.
Though my window up high
gives a view of the sky,
it's the ceiling that's
starting to fall.

I lost my life in Hampton,
now I'm left with shells
of what I could have been.
I lost my life in Hampton,
instead of memories,
I've got remember when.

Sitting here staring
at a blank page,
daring me to try,
but my hand does not know how.
Swirling thoughts
all mixed together,
treat yourself,
depression's on the house.
Though my window up high
gives a view of the sky,
it is failure
that's starting to call.

I lost my life in Hampton
now I'm left with shells
of what I could have been.
I lost my life in Hampton,
instead of memories,
I've got remeber when.

Remember when my dreams
were too big for just one night,
remember when my future couldn't wait.
Remember when I had no doubts
that things would be alright,
remember all those things from yesterday.

But I lost my life in Hampton
now I'm left with shells
of what I could have been.
I lost my life in Hampton,
instead of memories,
I've got remember when.