Mom and Dad
There's no real reason why I wanted to write this entry at this particular time. It's neither of their birthdays, and their anniversary is in September; the 6th to be exact. (I bet you thought I didn't remember) I would just like to write a bit to them and express things I've thought or felt over the years.
To Dad - What can I say about a man I admire and respect so much. You've taught me so many things about so many subjects, and taught me more about being a man than anything. You made me strive to be better by not giving me all the answers. I would come up to you and ask you how to spell a word, and your immediate response was always: "Give it a try." I kept giving it a try until I got it right. You taught me to be my own person, to think for myself and not to be afraid to be independent; not to be afraid to take chances and experience life. Perhaps the greatest things I've learned from you are things you didn't realize you were teaching.
Way back in the day, in 91 I think, you got laid off. We went through some rough times, with the recent completion of the new house, internal family issues, and sometimes worst of all, money issues. It was tight, and tighter than I may ever know. I don't know what it's like to go from President of a company to cleaning houses and toilets within a short time, but for any man, it could have been crushing. Let me rephrase that: But for any lesser man, it could have been crushing. For you, it was not. You moved on, did what you had to do and made sure we were ok. You swallowed your pity and pride, and you were a man to a family that needed you. I know that I didn't recognize or know any of these things at the time (even more credit to you for keeping this from being a cancer in the family), but I do now. You're a man built with integrity, bravery (for your armed forces service to which we are all grateful and indebted), honesty, intelligence, and kindness. Above all these things, you are my father, something I will forever be proud of.
To Mom - I doubt I know a kinder or more loving heart than yours. For someone who doesn't have much of an education, you keep surprising me with how much you can do; and how well you can do it. (Most recently with your photography) Your commitment to our family was often the glue that held us together when we seemed separated by long distances, both physically and emotionally. Your subtle strength never came through unless you looked hard. I remember you being the boy scout leader/helper for so long, dealing with comments and looks from your male counterparts and scouts. You stuck with it knowing that there was no reason you shouldn't be allowed to be there, and that took a lot of guts. You once told me a story from our hard times when we barely scraped by:
We were at the supermarket just getting the bare essentials that we could afford. After paying the cashier, she handed you the change with a smile, not knowing that it was probably all we had. You counted the change, probably twice, and realized that it was the exact amount I needed for something at school. That was the first thing you thought, not, "Hey, we have some money left over for this or this." Your selflessness and sacrifice for the good of others is a quality rarely seen in today's "me first" society, and a quality I aspire to match on a level even close to yours.
You were the woman who sat on my bed with me, night after night, through some of the toughest times of my very young life, doing whatever you could to make things better. You were the woman who so many times gave up what you wanted so I or someone else could have something. They say behind every great man is a strong woman. I say: Behind every strong family, is a great mother. Thank you for being that great mother.
To you both - There were many times in my childhood (as many can relate I'm sure) where I told myself that I wouldn't grow up to be like you. I would be a different parent when I had a kid; a better parent. Only now do I realize how foolish I was, and how lucky I would be to grow up just like you. I love you both more than these little black letters could ever show or explain. Thank you for my life and who you were and are during it.
- Darrell
To Dad - What can I say about a man I admire and respect so much. You've taught me so many things about so many subjects, and taught me more about being a man than anything. You made me strive to be better by not giving me all the answers. I would come up to you and ask you how to spell a word, and your immediate response was always: "Give it a try." I kept giving it a try until I got it right. You taught me to be my own person, to think for myself and not to be afraid to be independent; not to be afraid to take chances and experience life. Perhaps the greatest things I've learned from you are things you didn't realize you were teaching.
Way back in the day, in 91 I think, you got laid off. We went through some rough times, with the recent completion of the new house, internal family issues, and sometimes worst of all, money issues. It was tight, and tighter than I may ever know. I don't know what it's like to go from President of a company to cleaning houses and toilets within a short time, but for any man, it could have been crushing. Let me rephrase that: But for any lesser man, it could have been crushing. For you, it was not. You moved on, did what you had to do and made sure we were ok. You swallowed your pity and pride, and you were a man to a family that needed you. I know that I didn't recognize or know any of these things at the time (even more credit to you for keeping this from being a cancer in the family), but I do now. You're a man built with integrity, bravery (for your armed forces service to which we are all grateful and indebted), honesty, intelligence, and kindness. Above all these things, you are my father, something I will forever be proud of.
To Mom - I doubt I know a kinder or more loving heart than yours. For someone who doesn't have much of an education, you keep surprising me with how much you can do; and how well you can do it. (Most recently with your photography) Your commitment to our family was often the glue that held us together when we seemed separated by long distances, both physically and emotionally. Your subtle strength never came through unless you looked hard. I remember you being the boy scout leader/helper for so long, dealing with comments and looks from your male counterparts and scouts. You stuck with it knowing that there was no reason you shouldn't be allowed to be there, and that took a lot of guts. You once told me a story from our hard times when we barely scraped by:
We were at the supermarket just getting the bare essentials that we could afford. After paying the cashier, she handed you the change with a smile, not knowing that it was probably all we had. You counted the change, probably twice, and realized that it was the exact amount I needed for something at school. That was the first thing you thought, not, "Hey, we have some money left over for this or this." Your selflessness and sacrifice for the good of others is a quality rarely seen in today's "me first" society, and a quality I aspire to match on a level even close to yours.
You were the woman who sat on my bed with me, night after night, through some of the toughest times of my very young life, doing whatever you could to make things better. You were the woman who so many times gave up what you wanted so I or someone else could have something. They say behind every great man is a strong woman. I say: Behind every strong family, is a great mother. Thank you for being that great mother.
To you both - There were many times in my childhood (as many can relate I'm sure) where I told myself that I wouldn't grow up to be like you. I would be a different parent when I had a kid; a better parent. Only now do I realize how foolish I was, and how lucky I would be to grow up just like you. I love you both more than these little black letters could ever show or explain. Thank you for my life and who you were and are during it.
- Darrell
posted by The D at
1:45 PM
1 Comments:
Very touching, Darrell. If I was your mommy, I'd give you a great big hug. Parents are encouraged to hear things like that...I know they all wonder at some point or another whether they've been "good" parents. You probably made their whole week.
-H
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