Alfie

First off, some news in the land of The D. I did my "audition" for the music committee at church yesterday, and felt dirty the whole time. I didn't like it, didn't appreciate it, and didn't like any of them sitting their judging my work or my voice considering they don't know anything about me or my musical background. I don't have a musical background actually, but they didn't know that as proven by the conversation that started after I sang the song I wrote.

Annoying Man: Well, wow, that was great. I really liked that, good song Darrell. (Yes, my name is Darrell, I'll finally use my name on this blog. Don't expect it to be a tradition.)

Annoying Woman: *Nods in agreement* That was very nice. Do you play the piano?

I should mention here that it was a piano only arrangement, so I wrote the piano part for the song as well as the vocal. This annoying woman is a very good piano player. Back to the convo

The D: No, I don't play piano. I know which keys are which letters, but other than that, I can't play a lick.

Annoying Woman looks surprised.

Annoying Man: So did you use another instrument to compose this? Did you play the guitar to figure out the arrangement? *plays an air acoustic guitar*

The D: Nope, I don't really play guitar.

Both look surprised.

Annoying woman: So how did you write this song?

I then explained how I write my songs by writing the vocal after I think of a tune, and then listen to it a lot and listen to the piano in my head and write it down. C'mon now, it's easy. They were surprised and no doubt impressed by The D. Just so you know, I passed their "test" and so I will sing next week.

Move on to the movie review!
A while ago I included a review of The Wedding Crashers in an entry I wrote, and a nice person left a comment saying that they would be interested to see what I thought of the movie "Alfie", starring Jude Law and Sienna Miller, and the always radiant and beautiful Marisa Tomei. In essence, it's about a womanizer who goes through a few girlfriends, and eventually has an epiphany at the end. That's about it, seriously, that's the plot. Here's the review:

This movie sucked. If the movie didn't piss me off so much, I would just leave my review at that, but I hated this movie, and wrote notes on paper during it so I wouldn't forget certain thoughts and things. Jude Law does a good job playing a jack ass in the movie, and I find it very ironic that he just admitting sleeping with his kids' nanny even though he's engaged to the gorgeous Sienna Miller (whom he met during this movie). C'mon people, THAT is irony.

He does however appreciate the female form, as do I, so good for him. Unfortunately, he appreciates it for the wrong reason, for an overwhelmingly selfish reason. As I've said before, selfishness is the root of distrust. And speaking of selfishness, with this unfortunate act comes hurt, maybe not right away, but it will come. Unfortunately, it usually hurts the person who trusted rather than the one who broke said trust. The one being selfish doesn't learn a lesson because they're not the one getting hurt, and because they're too self absorbed to realize what happened anyway. This is our dear Alfie in a nutshell, where he should stay.

Oh, and note to the writers of the movie: Domestified is not a real word. Seriously, it's domesticated, not domestified.

So after he hurts his serious girlfriend by cheating on her, he apparantly has a change of heart and is going to change his life. In the next scene, where he's talking about his need for change, he's drinking a reddish, thick drink. He tells us it's carrot juice with some other healthy crap in it. This is the extent of his change, a health drink. He still cheats on his girlfriends (later on), he sleeps with his best friends ex girlfriend like a couple days after they break up. Quality guy right here.

Everyone has something good about them; he has a scooter.

Later on, after he's screwed over a couple more people, he decides he wants to get serious with the older woman he was cheating with. So he gets her a small bouquet of flowers, and goes to her lavish apartment. She's happy to see him, and he says that he wants to spend the weekend with her out in the country or something, and he tells her that he has something he wants to talk to her about (being the "I want to date you so I can cheat on you later" talk). She says great, and then he wants to stay over, but she says it's not a good idea. Then he becomes suspicious, and looks into the bathroom (she has a bathroom robe on) and there's a guy in there. He freaks out and starts demanding answers from her and keeps asking "What does he have that is better than me? What does he have that I don't have?" After yelling this question several times, she finally answers him:

"He's younger."

Ha, best part in the movie. She's doing this guy cause he's younger. It's like saying, "Well, he had nicer cufflinks than you, so I'm gonna go with him now." I loved that part. My thing is this though. Why did he get all indignant on her? What right does he have to berate her and question her while this (cheating) has been his m.o. the entire time? And they weren't even officially together yet! What a jack ass.

Finally, at the end of the movie, he has his movie ending epiphany. He says something stupid like he realizes that he has it all except for peace of mind.

Scuse me? He seemed to have relative peace of mind when he repeatedly cheated on everyone and pretended that everything was hunky dory all the time. He apparantly had peace of mind while having sex with his best friend's love. But now all of a sudden he doesn't? No, doesn't work like that. He has no conscience if he had peace of mind during all those cheating times, because of his lack of remorse or regret. If he has no conscience, then how can he have peace of mind now?

Overall, this movie sucked, I told you that already. It made me mad and I asked numerous times for the movie Gods to intervene and hit him with a bus. Imagine if the main character was a girl doing all of this? No way would that have been made into a movie. Absolutely pathetic. Now I'm all riled up.

I leave you with this. The theme song in the movie is "Old habits die hard" by Mick Jagger and Sheryl Crow, but re-arranged into a string arrangement for violins and cellos and such. Weird. And they are right, old habits do die hard; but so do old horny men. (Hopefully Alfie too. By a bus. Going fast.)