Sobering Reality
I haven't written in so long, yet feel the need to let things out at this particular time. I just finished a week long master class in acting taught by Alec Baldwin. It was ten times greater than I expected it to be. I won't get into detail about it because I just don't feel like reliving it at the moment. I'll explain why.
It also went faster than I figured it would, and the week went by in a snap. Yet I bonded with those people there. We all had something in common, this common thread that linked us all together and led us there with a common purpose. I wanted to get to that class and spend all day with them because I fit in there, I made sense with those people, I loved those people and shared our emotional depths together. Being on stage with someone and sharing the experience of someone on stage is such a bonding event. I am connected to those people as they bared themselves on stage, and as I did the same. Today, Saturday, I had nothing planned. Mistake. I went from a week of something to do almost every minute and that something was so fulfilling and wonderful, to a day where nothing was planned. I crashed and am burning as we speak. I miss them, some more so and a couple in particular. I miss that acceptance, that admiration, that union of intent and emotion with those people. I miss that purpose we all had there. I miss that driving force. Not that I don't have it in me, that driving force is still there, but I was chasing it there, I was living it there, I was learning so many things and getting such great wisdom and advice. I didn't want it to end.
It's odd, one thing I kept hearing was about being in the moment when you're acting, and needing to actually be there rather than trying to act it out and putting up something false on stage. I find myself doing that in real life as well, and for that class, I was in my moment. I never thought about what it would be like when it was over; until it was over of course. And now I don't want to think about it, because I have come crashing down into a sobering reality. A reality that quite honestly, I wish was a lot less sober right now; a reality I wish was a lot less real.
It also went faster than I figured it would, and the week went by in a snap. Yet I bonded with those people there. We all had something in common, this common thread that linked us all together and led us there with a common purpose. I wanted to get to that class and spend all day with them because I fit in there, I made sense with those people, I loved those people and shared our emotional depths together. Being on stage with someone and sharing the experience of someone on stage is such a bonding event. I am connected to those people as they bared themselves on stage, and as I did the same. Today, Saturday, I had nothing planned. Mistake. I went from a week of something to do almost every minute and that something was so fulfilling and wonderful, to a day where nothing was planned. I crashed and am burning as we speak. I miss them, some more so and a couple in particular. I miss that acceptance, that admiration, that union of intent and emotion with those people. I miss that purpose we all had there. I miss that driving force. Not that I don't have it in me, that driving force is still there, but I was chasing it there, I was living it there, I was learning so many things and getting such great wisdom and advice. I didn't want it to end.
It's odd, one thing I kept hearing was about being in the moment when you're acting, and needing to actually be there rather than trying to act it out and putting up something false on stage. I find myself doing that in real life as well, and for that class, I was in my moment. I never thought about what it would be like when it was over; until it was over of course. And now I don't want to think about it, because I have come crashing down into a sobering reality. A reality that quite honestly, I wish was a lot less sober right now; a reality I wish was a lot less real.
posted by The D at
8:50 PM
|
2 comments
